The difference between women and helis
1. A heli will kill you quickly -- a woman loves to take her time.
2. Helis can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. A heli does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'
4. A heli does not object to a pre-flight inspection.
5. Helis come with manuals.
6. Helis have some weight limits.
7. You can fly a heli any time of the month.
8. Helis don't come with in-laws.
9. Helis don't whine unless something is really wrong.
10. Helis don't care about how many other helis you have flown.
11. When flying, you and your heli both arrive at the same time or no complaints.
12. Helis don't mind if you look at other helis, or if you buy
heli magazines.
13. It's OK to use tie-downs on your heli, they prefer it.
14. Helis are waaaaaaaaay cheaper...
15. A helis headspeed is higher than a woman.
16. Helis are quiet when you are not flying them!
17. Helis don't want to cuddle after you use them..
18. Heli's look good from almost any angle???
19. When a heli comes apart at the seems, it really is because of something you did.
19(a). Putting a heli back together after it falls apart does not necessarily require a huge amout of knowledge, patience, and effort; and is usually successful
20. You can not stick bang a woman and get away with it.
21. Heli's can get hot after hard running; but then they cool down fairly quicky without the pilot having to buy something for them
22. Helis wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night..
23. You can walk up to a heli and twirl its rotors, without worrying about getting slapped.
27. When you show up at the field and there is a better looking heli, your heli doesn't get jealous.
28. When you part with a heli, it doesn't take your house.
29. You will never come home and find your heli in bed with another heli!
30. Possession of more than one heli is possible, possession of more than one woman is hazardous to your health.
31. Helis are 'upgradeable'
32. Your heli doesn't call you every 15 min. when you leave the house...
33. Helis don't spend two hours in the washroom in the mornings.
34. A heli looks good year after year, day in and day out...
35. If your heli likes "crack" it's ok...
36. Your heli doesn't want to talk when the action is over...
drool 
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